Blogs, Uncategorized

Sexuality

I have a lot on my mind today. I keep wondering why sex is so taboo, why is it such a taboo thing to talk about? Why is it something we don’t celebrate more often? I have so many questions. My mom was always so honest with me about everything. She had this motto that if I am old enough to ask the question, I am old enough for the answer. No matter what I wanted to talk about, she was there for those sometimes awkward moments. But then I went out into the world, ready to have these discussions and it was such a taboo naughty thing to talk about.

I never understood why people are so hush about something that everyone does. I truly in my soul believe that if adults were more honest with us about things when we are in those developmental years, things would be so much better. I mean sex ed classes are pathetic. They don’t teach anyone how to safely have sex, it’s basically teaching abstinence until marriage when you are ready to procreate. But EVERYONE likes sex. Okay, not everyone, but there are people who love sex that never want to get married and never want kids. So why aren’t we teaching them how to be safe with multiple partners?

It’s not about personal beliefs like right or wrong, it’s about teaching young adults about sexuality. We should be teaching people that exploring who you are is okay. It shouldn’t be this shameful thing to explore your body. I had a pelvic floor therapist tell me that I needed to be comfortable with who I was because that’s how I was going to be comfortable with a partner. But no one ever taught me how to explore my own body. It’s frustrating when you think about statistics, 1 in every 5 person has an STD, 90% of them being completely preventable.

I mean look at HPV, it is such a common thing. Almost everyone who is sexually active has it even if they don’t know it. This is something I truly believe could have been preventable had sex ed classes taught us better. I just think it sucks that there are so many adults still struggling with their sexuality. Not even the battle of LGBTQ+, I am talking people that aren’t comfortable with sex. I am one of them, some things happened in my life that made me feel shameful and guilty for it. But no one taught me that I can take back that power.

Rape victims are often so traumatized they don’t ever want to be touched. Why aren’t we working to better accommodate them. Why aren’y we giving these men and women tools to take back control. Why aren’t we doing more to teach people about sexuality. Even if you are the most conservative, by the book, religious person, you probably enjoy sex. So why are we not having conversations? Why is sex such a taboo thing? Why is sexuality something to be ashamed of instead of something to liberated by?

Stop making it taboo. Talk to your children when they ask questions. Be open to dialogue even if you don’t approve of a decision. Be honest with yourself. Everyone is sexual, it is a biologic trait. Even animals have this need to mate. Stop making something everyone does a shameful thing. Sexuality is beautiful. Sexuality is empowering. And as a victim, taking back that power was an HUGE part of my healing.

To anyone out there struggling, explore yourself. Take baby steps to become comfortable with you. Once you can take back that power and enjoy yourself, you will be unstoppable. I am with you, I understand, I have been there. I think had we been given tools or just given the option to open up a dialogue I think so many people would have been spared diseases, or years of trauma.

PS. If someone wants to be a “hoe” let them. Stop trying to control everyone else’s lives. Let those people express themselves and be who they are. As long as they are being safe and no putting anyone in harms way, it should be no concern of yours.

3 thoughts on “Sexuality”

  1. It’s strange how we live in a society that’s really hypersexualized in a sense, but no one talks about regular, everyday sex. It is truly absurd that abstinence-only sex ed is taught in so many parts of the US. A lot of pandering to conservative Christians, I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s crazy to me. We aren’t teaching anyone how to probably love their bodies if we tell them the most intimate part of them is bad. It makes me feel awful, and makes me wonder if women and men were taught differently from a younger age, would rape culture be different? Would victims feel safer coming forward? Would more victims speak out?
      I think we can do so much better. Start teaching about consent in health classes, start teaching out each individual body and how to protect those parts, start teaching how to safely have sex instead of letting porn teach kids and then STD’s get worse, people are spreading all sorts of stuff and sex becomes dangerous to even attempt.

      Liked by 1 person

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